July 6, 2024

Walking with Bilbo – The Purpose of Adventure

Walking with Bilbo

 

 

 

 

Walking with Bilbo – The Purpose of Adventure
Sycamore Creek Church
January 13 & 14, 2013
Tom Arthur
Luke 5:1-11

Peace, Friends!

Today we continue in a series based on The Hobbit.  We’ll be walking with Bilbo, the main character in The Hobbit, as he transforms from an unassuming three foot six inch hobbit to the unexpected hero of the story.  Along the way Bilbo will find his clear purpose because of the adventure he goes on.

Many of us struggle with purpose.  Part of the reason we struggle with purpose is because we don’t often see ourselves clearly.  I struggle with this myself.  I often tell myself and others, “I’m not a very good counselor.”  I probably say this because when I was a psychology major in undergrad, I intended to be a therapist.  But then I did an internship and didn’t like clinical work at all.  So I redirected my studies toward research rather than therapy.  But then the other day I told someone that I wasn’t a very good counselor as they were sitting in my office seeking some help working through a problem.  After two different hour-plus-long meetings, this person said to me, “You say you’re not very good at this, but you’re actually really quite good.”  Hm…Maybe I don’t see myself as clearly as I think I do.

We all struggle with seeing ourselves clearly.  We say things like:

I’m the humblest person I know.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
I can be spontaneous if I have enough time to prepare for it.

All jokes aside, here’s some examples of how we don’t see ourselves very clearly:

  • We think we’re poor, but in reality, we’re exceedingly rich.  According to globalrichlist.com, if you make $40,000/year like I do, you’re one of the top 3.17% richest people in the world.  If you add in benefits (health insurance, housing allowance, pension, etc.), then you’re in the top .82%!   If you make $20,000/year, then you’re still in the top 11.16%.
  • Single folks think they’re unattractive or will never find a life partner, but I look at them and think, “Wow, some day they’re going to really be a blessing to someone!”
  • I was reading some research the other day that showed that women tend to rate themselves further from an “ideal” than men do.  They think men want someone who is skinnier than they are, but the average woman in America is very close to what the average man finds attractive.
  • We all tend to think we’re basically “good people” but we ignore the little things that add up, including our inappropriate motives.  For example: we focus on the things in others that annoy us and downplay the things in ourselves that annoy others!
  • David Myers, in his introductory psychology textbook reports: “Most people see themselves as better than average. This is true for nearly any subjective and socially desirable dimension. In national surveys, most business executives say they are more ethical than their average counterpart. In several studies, 90% of business managers and more than 90% of college professors rated their performance as superior to that of their average peer. In Australia, 86% of people rate their job performance as above average, and only 1% as below average” (1998, p. 440, emphasis mine).

I recently met Whitney Banks, the adoption recruiter for Wendy’s Wonderful Kids.  She works with teenagers who need to be adopted.  She told me that almost all of the teenagers she works with think they won’t be adopted because their many problems and their age make them unadoptable.  So I asked her how many of the current teenagers she’s working with will she find a home for.  She said she will likely find a family for almost every single one of them!

In The Hobbit, when Gandalf tells the dwarves he’s chosen Bilbo, an unimpressive hobbit, to be the “burglar” for their adventure, the dwarves are pretty skeptical of Bilbo and Gandalf’s judgment, but Gandalf says, “There is a lot more in him than you guess, and a deal more than he has any idea of himself.”

If you haven’t sent the movie or read the book, this trailer will give you a glimpse of who Bilbo is, and the struggle he has to see himself clearly:

The Point
Here’s the point I want you get out of this message: Adventure with Jesus pulls out the clear purpose of our lives.

While we struggle to see ourselves clearly, when we go on the adventure that Jesus is calling us on, the clear purpose of our lives becomes evident.  Let’s take a look at one example of how this worked with one of Jesus’ followers, Simon, later called Peter.

Luke 5:1-11 NRSV
1 Once while Jesus was standing beside the lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God,  2 he saw two boats there at the shore of the lake; the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets.  3 He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. 

Here we find a casual encounter between Jesus and Simon: Jesus simply gets into Simon’s boat because he needed to get away from the shore where people were crowding in on him.  Many of us are at this stage of the adventure: we’ve had a casual encounter with Jesus.  But this casual encounter leads to…

4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.”  5 Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.”

Here the casual encounter turns to an invitation to trust.  The invitation to trust includes doing something counterintuitive and unexpected.  For Simon, who was a professional fisherman, it was the invitation to put out again to fish after a long night of catching nothing. Simon is the expert fisherman here.  Jesus is a carpenter.  What does he know about fishing?  Surprisingly, Simon accepts the invitation.  The acceptance of this invitation to do something counterintuitive and unexpected leads to…

6 When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break.  7 So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink.

The acceptance of Jesus’ invitation to do something counterintuitive and unexpected leads to an unexpected adventure.  Simon and his companions caught so many fish that the nets began to break.  They had been fishing all night and hadn’t had anything significant happen.  But when Simon accepts Jesus’ invitation to something counterintuitive and unexpected, unexpected adventure ensues.  This unexpected adventure leads to…

8 But when Simon Peter saw it, [ON KNEES] he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!”  9 For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken;  10 and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon.

This unexpected adventure that Simon finds himself on leads to a deeper trust through surrender.  He falls down at Jesus’ feet.  He recognizes that he’s standing in the presence of the Lord, and he surrenders to him symbolically by kneeling before him.  This act of surrender leads to…

Then Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.”

This act of trust in and surrender to Jesus leads to an unexpected twist in the purpose of Simon’s life.  He will no longer catch fish, but instead he will catch people.  This unexpected twist in the purpose of Simon’s life leads to…

11 When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.

This unexpected twist in the purpose of Simon’s life leads to a complete and total surrender to that purpose.  Simon leaves everything and follows Jesus.  There is nothing more important to Simon than this new clarity in the purpose of his life.

Again, here’s the main point I want you to get out of this message: 

Adventure with Jesus pulls out the clear purpose of our lives.

Simon’s life is transformed because Jesus saw something in him that he did not see in himself.  Later Jesus renames Simon to make obvious what Jesus sees in him:

And I tell you, you are Peter,and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it.  (Matthew 16:18 NRSV)

So if adventure with Jesus pulls out the clear adventure in our lives, there are two things I want you to do this morning:

1. Go on an Adventure Following Jesus

I want you to join the adventure of throwing it all in with following Jesus, and risking your reputation, way of doing things, money, time, everything, so that you will find Jesus’ purpose for your life, a purpose Jesus knows you’re ready for, but you’re not yet so sure about.

J.R.R. Tolkien, the author of The Hobbit, was a philologist, someone who studies language, academic at Oxford University.  Philologists aren’t supposed to write children’s fantasy stories.  Yet he jumped into the adventure of writing The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings and risked looking silly in front of his colleagues.  In the end he found the purpose of participating in the creative act of God as what he called a “sub-creator.”  He found that he had an impulse (or a purpose) to create, because he was made in the image of a creator.  And hundreds of thousands if not millions of people have loved his stories ever since.

Linda Kidrick, a new attendee at SCC, accepted the adventure of celebrating Christmas differently this past year.  She attended our Christmas Eve service and tried to focus on the reason for Christmas.  Here’s what her experience was like:

Join the adventure of investing in the lives of our children (Kids Creek) and youth (StuREV), and take the risk of giving up some of your time and find the purpose of changing the life of a child or youth.

Join the adventure of being a steward of the money God has given you by taking the risk of living simply and giving generously and find the purpose of money in your life is really to bless other people.

Join the adventure of inviting your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors to church and risk feeling silly or embarrassed and find the purpose of being one step in someone having a life-changing encounter with God.

Join the adventure of a local mission (Maplewood, Open Door, Holt Senior Care), and take the risk of getting to know a group of people you didn’t know before (and were maybe even a little afraid of) and finding the purpose of sharing God’s compassion with others.

Each of the small groups in our church makes a commitment to serve in some local mission.  The elderly in nursing homes are often a forgotten people in our culture who don’t get much attention or much companionship.  The Agnostic Pub Group meets on the fifth Thursdays at Holt Senior Care home on Willoughby and simply plays games with residents.  It’s a little out of some and a lot out of others’ comfort zones.  At our last visit, we had about eight senior citizens joining us for cards.  One of those was a widower who rarely ever comes out of his room.  That night he and all of us laughed, talked, joked, smiled, and had loads of fun.  What an adventure to follow Jesus into the forgotten places of our culture!

2. Seek a Spiritual Guide or Spiritual Friends

Coming back to the problem we have seeing ourselves clearly, it is so important to have a spiritual guide or some spiritual friends who help us see ourselves better than we can alone.

In The Hobbit, Gandalf the wizard sees something in Bilbo that he does not see himself.  He has a kind of confidence in Bilbo that Bilbo doesn’t have in himself.  Bilbo reads about the dangers of the adventure with the dwarves and faints, but Gandalf never questions for a moment whether Bilbo will join the adventure:

Who is the Gandalf in your life inviting you out the door on to the road of adventure? Who are you seeking out intentionally to mentor/guide you?  This can’t always be me, the pastor.  I simply can’t provide ongoing personal guidance to a hundred and fifty people.  So who do you sit down regularly with over coffee to talk about life, someone who isn’t always a “Yes Man” in your life?  Who asks you the hard questions? Who is willing to be honest with you but is also encouraging?

If you’re a guest here today, I want you to know that you can’t find this kind of community in a big group setting like this.  It’s virtually impossible.  You’ve got to get into a small group of some sort.  It’s not the only way to receive this kind of guidance or to have spiritual friends, but it’s the best way we know as a church to try to provide an environment where these kinds of things can thrive.  So join the adventure of a small group, and take the risk of opening up and giving a true account of who you are and finding the purpose of authentic community.

Last Tuesday four dads gathered at McDonald’s with their kids to have fun and talk about being dads.  We shared one thing we were thankful for being dads in 2012 and one thing we learned about being dads in 2012.  It was a great conversation with fellow dads who see things about being a dad that I miss.

A couple of Sundays ago, I was talking with the small group at Pizza with the Pastor about how I felt like I didn’t have enough passion in life.  I was surprised to find that two people said they were at this church & were even following Jesus because of my passion!  Wow.  I didn’t see that coming.

One day I was having a particularly bad day.  Mark Aupperlee, a volunteer here at our church and a friend of mine, knew about how bad my day was going.  He called me and left a message on my voicemail simply saying, “I’m here with you on this adventure.  I’ve got your back.  I love you.”

Who are those kinds of people who provide spiritual guidance in your life, who see things in you that you don’t see in yourself?

Sycamore Creek Church
Imagine being part of a community that was on the kind of adventure that brought out these and other new purposes in your life and the lives of those around you, purposes you couldn’t see before but Jesus can see right now.  If only you’ll trust him enough to let him get in the boat of your life and lead you on the adventure of your life!

Imagine being part of a community where there were people along the entire spectrum of the adventure.  People who were new to the path.  People who had been traveling for a long time.  And imagine them sharing their wisdom with one another in shared guidance and mentoring.  That’s the kind of community we’re trying to create at SCC!

At the beginning of Bilbo’s adventure, Gandalf says of him, “There is a lot more in him than you guess, and a deal more than he has any idea of himself.”  And as Bilbo is getting ready to go in to meet Smaug the dragon, Tolkien as the narrator tells us, “Already he was a very different hobbit from the one that had run out without a pocket-handkerchief from Bag-End long ago.”

Prayer
God, help us to accept the invitation to adventure that Jesus puts before us, and to find the clear purpose of our lives.  Amen.

For further discussion on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/tomarthur01/posts/10100244064669254?comment_id=4206226&ref=notif&notif_t=feed_comment

 

Those Manipulative People

Those People
Those Manipulative People*
Sycamore Creek Church
August 5, 2012
Tom Arthur
Matthew 16:21-23

Peace Friends!

How many of you know someone who would try to control and manipulate you?  Raise your hand.  Now raise both hands.  Just seeing if I’ve still got control over you.

So today we continue in a series called Those People.  You know.  Those people.  The critical neighbor.  The hypocritical boss.  The needy family member.  Well, today we’re looking at those manipulative people in your lives.  Who manipulates you?

A guy dies and goes to heaven.  When he gets there he sees that there are two lines going up to the pearly gates.  The first line has hundreds and thousands of men standing in it.  It is labeled, THOSE CONTROLLED BY THEIR WIVES.  The second line has only one man standing in it.  It is labeled, THOSE NOT CONTROLLED BY THEIR WIVES.  The guy goes up to the one man standing in this line and asks, how did you do it?  How did you do what all these hundreds of thousands of men couldn’t do?  He replied, “I don’t know.  My wife just told me to stand over here and smile.”

Any men here today controlled by your wives?  Don’t raise your hand!  You’re in good company.  One of the greatest manipulation stories of all time is found in the Bible.  It’s the story of Samson and Delilah.  You know the basic storyline: Delilah is a Bond-girl-worthy spy trying to figure out how Samson gets his power so she can betray him to the Philistines.  She tries several times, but he manages to feed her false information.  Then she goes back again.

Judges 16:15-16
Then [Delilah] said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me three times now and have not told me what makes your strength so great.” Finally, after she had nagged him with her words day after day, and pestered him, he was tired to death.

Yikes!  So Samson tells her that his strength is in his hair.  So Delilah leaks the info to the Philistines, they come in and cut his hair, and take him hostage.

But manipulation doesn’t just happen between men and women.  Men manipulate each other too.  Another great story of manipulation in the Bible is the story of Jacob manipulating Esau out of his birthright (Gen. 25:29-34).  Esau comes in starving after a long day of hunting.  He demands food from Jacob.  Jacob holds him hostage: give me your birthright, and I’ll give you some food.  Esau gives in!  Later on Jacob manipulates his brother and father to steal Esau’s blessing (Genesis 27).

When we are manipulated by others, we end up surrendering the direction of our life to them.

Earlier this week I sat down with Nancy McMall, a counselor who attends our church from time to time.  She helped me unpack manipulation.  For Nancy, a good working definition of manipulation is getting someone to do what you want without telling them.  This often happens around needs (things required for survival) and wants (an enhancement of survival).  We use certain power plays, especially in our marriage relationships to manipulate those around us.  A power play is the leveraging of a tool to get what we want.  There are five tools most often used in power plays in family relationships:

  1. $
  2. Sex
  3. Family
  4. Time
  5. Peace

We use these five tools to get what we want out of those around us.

Nancysees manipulation as a fundamental orientation toward fear rather than love.  We’re afraid that if we’re up front about what we need or want, that we won’t get it or that the world will be stacked against us receiving that want or need.  So we keep silent and leverage our power play tools to get it.  We operate out of fear.  Love is fundamentally different.  An orientation of love assumes that those around us want to hear and know what we need and want and are willing to negotiate how to live into those needs and wants in relation to their own needs and wants.

I found the conversation withNancyhelpful in further understanding what exactly manipulation is.  Having a better understanding of what manipulation is and what we do to manipulate others, here are three prayers for breaking the power of manipulation.

  1. God, help me to recognize when someone is trying to manipulate me.

Sometimes we’ve been in dysfunction for so long that we don’t even recognize manipulation.  It has just become par for the course.  When you live in a culture long enough, you begin to become blind to the eccentric features of the culture.  It’s like driving your old car.  You’ve got to push the steering wheel just the right way to get the key to turn.  The lights on the dashboard work intermittently but you don’t notice.  The passenger side back window doesn’t go down but who really needs it to anyway?  Then you lend your car to a friend and they don’t even know how it works.  Manipulations in relationships can become the same way.  Everyone else notices it except you.

Jesus runs into a situation in his life where one of his followers, Peter, tries to manipulate him.  Jesus opens up to them and is vulnerable.  He tells them what is about to happen to him, what God’s plan for him is.  Peter won’t have any of it.  He has other plans.

Matthew 16:21-22 NRSV
From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.”

Notice that Peter took Jesus aside.  Manipulators lose their power in groups.  It’s harder to manipulate a whole bunch of people than it is to manipulate just one.  Then he “rebukes” Jesus!  He REBUKES JESUS!  Whew.  That’s kinda crazy, but Peter wanted his plan for Jesus’ life.  His intentions were good, but he was motivated by fear, not love.

How do you recognize manipulation?  I’d suggest you feel guilty and find it hard to say no.  Your desire to please is born out of guilt or fear rather than love.  You compromise your values to please others.  You feel pressured into having sex.  You’re pressured to participate in some form of entertainment (go to a movie or club) that you really don’t want to go to.  You end up not being who God has called you to be or you end up doing what you know God doesn’t want you to do.  God help me to recognize when someone is trying to manipulate me.

So what do you do when you recognize you’re being manipulated?  Here’s a second prayer for today: 

2.      God, empower me to put healthy boundaries in place.

 When we keep reading the story Jesus takes Peter to the mat:

Matthew 16:23
Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”

Next time your mom or grandma tries to manipulate you, try calling them “Satan” and telling them to get behind you!  Ok, that’s a joke.  What Jesus says to Peter isn’t a command for us to say to others.  It’s rather a recognition that what Peter wants isn’t what God wants.  So Jesus puts a pretty significant boundary up between what Peter wants and what God wants.

Boundaries are tricky things.  They can themselves be a form of manipulation, especially if they are unspoken and arbitrary.  A healthy boundary begins with open communication about expectations and clear consequences for the breaking of those expectations.  Ideally the expectations and boundary is clearly discussed and agreed upon by all involved.  Although sometimes when it comes down to it, you have to set consequences whether the other person involved agrees or not.  Let me give you two examples.

I was reading a book about parenting lately that Jana Aupperlee recommended to me: 1 2 3 Magic.  It’s about raising children between the ages of 2-12.  The author tells the story of seeing a mom come into a grocery store with her son.  The son sees some candy he wants and asks for it.  She says no, and he begins to cry.  He cries and cries throughout the entire grocery store.  The author is quite impressed with this parent’s ability to set a clear boundary and stick to it even though it’s producing a public display that she’d  probably rather not have.  But as the mom is checking out at the register and the kid is still crying, she reaches down, picks up the candy, pays for it, and gives it to her son.  What did she just do?  She just reinforced crying all the way through the store.  The kid has learned how to manipulate his mom.  She needs to put a clearly communicated boundary before her child: when I say no to candy, it means no even if you cry all the way through the store.

Or consider the question of manipulation by a mother or father-in-law.  It is best to openly communicate and negotiate what you want out of the relationship, but in the end, when a child gets married they leave their parents and cleave to their spouse (Genesis 2:24) and the new family created in that leaving and cleaving sets their own expectations whether the in-laws agree with them or not.  Hear me out in-laws.  I’m not saying not to  communicate about what you want or what your expectations are, but in the end, the decision belongs to your adult married child’s family. 

If you let someone manipulate you, you are ultimately committing the sin of idolatry.  You are letting someone else be in the place that only God should be.  You are letting someone else direct your life rather than God.

This doesn’t always have to be about good and bad or right and wrong.  Sometimes expectations are simply value neutral even though they are not shared.  At SCC we like to talk about the Role Renegotiation Model.  Basically, every relationship starts out by gathering information and making a commitment.  This commitment goes along smoothly and productively until an expectation is broken.  A small broken expectation is called a pinch.  A big one is called a crunch.  A pinch might be that you’d like your roommate to clean the dishes immediately after using them, but they prefer to let them pile up over time and do them in one big push.  There is no command of God that one way is better than the other (I’m afraid your grandma was wrong, “cleanliness is next to Godliness” is not in the Bible).  A crunch on the other hand might be an accumulation of pinches or your roommate lying to you about paying half the rent at the end of the week and using the money instead to buy a new pair of shoes.  In each instance, the best course of action is to go back to the beginning and gather new information by renegotiating expectations.  Ideally a relationship would have this kind of conversation on a regular basis whether there was an obvious pinch or crunch to be discussed.  In the midst of the renegotiation of expectations you can decided to recommit to one another or decide that it’s time to move on and find a new roommate (of course the commitment of marriage is more permanent than that of a roommate).  In this way you’re setting healthy well communicated boundaries.

God, empower me to put healthy boundaries in place.  That’s the second prayer.  Here’s the third:

3. God, help me see my own need to control & surrender everything to you.

I’ve got some bad news for you this morning.  When it comes to manipulation, we’re all those people.  We all try to control others around us.  We all try to get what we want without saying it.  We all use power plays to get our needs and wants met.  By our acts of manipulation, we say to those around us, God loves you, and I have a wonderful plan for your life.

There are two reasons we manipulate others.  First, we fear surrendering control to others.  Everyone wants to be in control of their lives.  But control is an illusion.  The only one really in control is God.  Second, I think I make a better god than God.  Whoa!  Now we’re back to idolatry, but in this case, the idol we’re setting up is ourselves!  Do you know what the difference between God and you is?  God doesn’t think he’s you.

Friends, today surrender your family, relationships, children, schedule, and future to God.  Let God be God.  Submit to God’s plan and control rather than your own.  Submission is the freedom to not always have to get your own way.  It’s hard to imagine, but this truly is a freedom.

Surrendering those around you to God doesn’t mean you don’t lead.  Leading is different than controlling.  Leading is example.  Leading is communicating.  Leading is love not fear.  If you’re shouting orders at your kids from your lazy boy, you’re not leading, you’re controlling.  Leading starts with trusting in God.  The prophet Isaiah puts it perfectly:

Isaiah 26:3-4 NLT
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.

I’d like pray for those who are being manipulated, and for those who are manipulating.  Will you pray with me?

Loving God, we live out of fear too often rather than love.  We seek to play god in other  people’s lives, or we let others play god in our lives.  Forgive us.  Help us to surrender our lives to you rather than others.  Help us to follow your will of love rather than the world’s culture of fear.  Let us follow in the way of Jesus who loved even in the face of death.  In the name of Jesus and in the power of your Holy Spirit, amen.

Questions for Small Groups

Each week we provide discussion questions for small groups that meet regularly to discuss the message for the week.  Want to find a small group to join?  Email Mark Aupperlee – m_aupperlee@hotmail.com.

  1. When have you experienced someone manipulating you?
  2. Where do you currently struggle to put healthy boundaries in place?
  3. Where are you tempted to manipulate others?
  4. How can your small group pray for you when it comes to manipulation?

*This sermon is an adaptation of a sermon originally by Craig Groeschel.