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One Friend Away

September 15, 2014 by Leave a Comment

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Friending – One Friend Away *
Sycamore Creek Church
September 14/15, 2014
Tom Arthur

Peace friends!

We are in to week two of a series called Friending.  Our key thought for the series is this:

Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.

Our key verse for the series comes from Proverbs:

Walk with the wise and become wise,
For a companion of fools suffer harm.
~Proverbs 13:20 NIV

You will rise to the level of wisdom of your friends or you will sink to the level of foolishness of your friends.  Which way do you want to go?

I think that many of us are longing for something more when it comes to our friends.  We think that there must be something more relationally than we are actually experiencing.  There’s a hole there that isn’t being filled.

Sociologists talk about three different kinds of poverty.

  1. Material Poverty
  2. Spiritual Poverty
  3. Relational Poverty

If you’ve ever been on one of our medical mission trips to Nicaragua, you’ll have experienced a progression that goes something like this.  On day one, you’re overwhelmed by what you see that the Nicaraguans don’t have.  By day 3 or 4, you’ll begin to wonder, “Why am I kind of jealous of these people?”  You’ll notice that they have very little material wealth, but they have spiritual and relational depth.  When you get back home you realize that you’ve got so much, but you’re missing something that Nicaraguans have.  And it is likely not someTHING but someONE that you’re missing.

Here’s our key thought for today:

You might be one friend away from changing the course of your destiny.

Now let me be really clear.  When I say one friend away from a changed life, I don’t necessarily mean that this friend will be like you or like all your other friends.  This friend may be very different than you.  Don’t just look for friends like you: your age, education, race, etc.

I’d like to introduce you to two friends in our church.  They are Mark and Justin.  Mark and Justin have a unique friendship.  I’ll  let them introduce themselves.

Mark & Justin Friendship – Intro

We’re going to walk with Mark and Justin throughout this sermon so don’t forget them.  But for now, did you notice how there were some similarities between them, but there was also one big difference: Justin might be young enough to be Mark’s son.  That hasn’t kept them from developing a friendship.  Don’t think that the friends who will change your life will necessarily be your age.

What I want to do today is share with you three types of friends that every person needs.  I’d like to do that by looking at three kinds of friends that King David had.  King David was one of the ancient kings of the nation of Israel, and much is written about him in the Bible.  So let’s dive in and see what we find.

1. Samuel: A Friend Who Makes You Better
Israel went through a period of development in their government.  They began with Moses and then eventually ended up with “judges” who were kind of like local tribal leaders.  This system didn’t work very well and the people wanted a king.  God eventually relented and gave them a king.  Samuel, a judge and prophet was tasked with anointing the first kind of Israel: Saul.  But Saul had problems.  He was insanely jealous, literally.  He probably had some mental breaks with reality and didn’t always follow the path that God wanted him to follow (although I have a side theory that Samuel wasn’t always willing to give up the power he possessed as a judge to let Saul lead).  So God asked Samuel to anoint a new king: David.

The story of how Samuel found David is worth studying in some depth.  God tells Samuel to go the house of Jesse to find the new king.  Jesse brings his oldest son to Samuel and he looks the part.  He’s a natural born leader.  But God is looking for something different than Samuel is looking for and rejects the first born son of Jesse.  So Samuel asks about other sons and here’s what happens.

1 Samuel 16:10-13 NLT
In the same way all seven of Jesse’s sons were presented to Samuel. But Samuel said to Jesse, “The Lord has not chosen any of these.” Then Samuel asked, “Are these all the sons you have?”

“There is still the youngest,” Jesse replied. “But he’s out in the fields watching the sheep and goats.”

“Send for him at once,” Samuel said. “We will not sit down to eat until he arrives.”

So Jesse sent for him. He was dark and handsome, with beautiful eyes.

And the Lord said, “This is the one; anoint him.”

So as David stood there among his brothers, Samuel took the flask of olive oil he had brought and anointed David with the oil. And the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon David from that day on. Then Samuel returned to Ramah.

No one saw David as a potential king.  No one thought he was the kind of person who could be king.  But Samuel eventually saw him the way God saw him.  Samuel looked with the imagination of God on the heart of David and saw that David would be a king who would be pursuing God’s own heart and imagination for Israel.  Samuel saw that he could be more than just a youngest runt of a son watching sheep in the back forty.  He saw that he could be the king who would become known as the best king of all of ancient Israel.

Most of us have our friends by accident.  They’re the friends who happened to have a locker next to ours.  Or they shared a birthing class with us.  Or they have kids in your kid’s classroom.  But do they make you better?  What if you intentionally built a friendship with someone who saw you the way God sees you?  What if you built a friendship with someone who imagined your life the way God imagined your life?  Mark and Justin have been that kind of friend to one another.

Mark & Justin – Make You Better Video

Do you have someone in your life who helps make your life better in the things that matter most?  Who makes your marriage better?  Your kids better?  Your learning better?  Your health better?  (Brad Kalajainen, the pastor of the largest United Methodist Church in Michigan, asked me one of the first times we met whether I was exercising.  It was an important question for the future of my well being as a pastor, dad, husband, and friend.).  Do you have friends who are making you a better leader in your field?  What about your finances?  Do you have friends who are helping you make wiser decisions in your stewardship of your money?  What about like Justin and Mark talked about, your character?

Of course, God not only wants you to have friends who make you better in this way, but God wants to use you to make others better as well.

As Iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
Proverbs 27:17 NLT

So do you and your friends make one another better?

2. Jonathan: A Friend Who Helps You Find Spiritual Strength
So David was anointed to be king, but Saul wasn’t so quick to give up his kingship.  David became a war hero and the people sang a song saying, “Saul has killed his thousands, David his tens of thousands.”  Saul becomes jealous and plans to kill David.  But Saul has a son named Jonathan who sacrifices his own route to the throne to support his friend, David.

One day near Horesh, David received the news that Saul was on the way to Ziph to search for him and kill him. 16 Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God.
~1 Samuel 23:15-16 NLT

What friends do you have who encourage you to stay strong in your faith in God?  Most of you will probably remember how close we came to remodeling a rental on Cedar Street in Holt and moving our Sunday morning worship to that space.  I invested a lot in that project: time, energy, leadership, prayers.  We voted on it and it passed with about a 90% approval.  But then the whole thing unraveled in the next several days and the landlord pulled out.  I had planned a trip to Chicago that next weekend because I had imagined that I would be pretty tied down with all that it would take to get into that building and wouldn’t have the time to get away for a while.  When it all fell through, we decided to still go out of town for the weekend, but I left Lansing about as discouraged as I have been as your pastor.  I felt like I was getting ready to sit in a chair, and at the last moment someone yanked the chair out from behind me, and I crashed to the floor.

Sarah and I had planned to spend the weekend with her college roommate, Chloe and Chloe’s husband Mark.  They had just bought a house and were sharing it with us as a kind of retreat away from home.  Over dinner the first night I shared about our frustrating situation with this building.  After listening Mark and Chloe asked if I was familiar with their own similar experience.  Their church, Church of the Resurrection, had put close to $750,000 into a potential land purchase for a new building when the township vote did not pass.  They too were devastated as a church, but about three years later they were able to move into another building that is working just fine for their mission.  They encouraged me to hang in there and rely on God and God’s provision.  I left the time with them and came back to Lansing refreshed and ready to do what needed to be done to move us into God’s future.  They were exactly the friends I needed in that moment to encourage me spiritually.  And now we sit on the edge of a possible purchase of another building that looks like it will work in some amazing ways to accomplish our mission.

Let me make a suggestion for you about how to be a spiritual support to your friends:  Think like a pastor!  Pray for them (I keep a list of my favorite prayers to share when the need arises).  Send them scripture.  Bless them.  Lay hands on them when you pray for them.  Hand-write notes of encouragement.  Think like a pastor and give your friends spiritual support.  God wants to use you to help others find spiritual strength.

3.     Nathan: A Friend Who Tells You the Truth
The third kind of friend David had was a friend who could tell him the truth even when it hurt.  David was a “man after God’s own heart,” but he took his eyes off God and put them on Bathsheba.  She was out washing on the roof of her house one day and David spied her from his palace window.  He sent for her and slept with her.  When she became pregnant, he had her husband sent to the front lines of the battle so that he would be killed.

David thinks he has gotten away with this, but one day Nathan shows up and tells him a story.  A poor man has one ewe lamb that he adores.  A rich man comes by and sees it.  The rich man takes the ewe lamb for himself.  In righteous anger, David says that this man should be brought to justice.  Nathan responds, “You are the man” (2 Samuel 12:17 NRSV).

David could have done several things in that moment, but he chose to humble himself and repent.  Out of that time of humility came one of the most beautiful psalms in the Bible: Psalm 51.  Psalm 51 is traditionally considered David’s prayer of confession.

How often do you have someone in your life who tells you the truth about yourself?  How often are you open to hearing the truth about yourself?  Let’s get back to Mark and Justin who have a unique friendship where Justin has to regularly hear the truth about himself from Mark.

Video Mark & Justin – Telling the Truth

When was the last time you had a friend who loved you enough to tell you, “Don’t go there.”  When was the last time you had a friend who loved you enough to tell you that they saw some unhelpful patterns in your life?  A couple of months ago I had a friend ask if they could meet with me.  We found a time that worked.  A day or so before we met this friend sent me some thoughts written down about some unhelpful patterns they were seeing in my life.  It took great courage to share this with me.  What they were noticing was that I was displaying a pattern of not listening to people.  It wasn’t easy to hear (no pun intended), but after the sting to my pride wore off I was thankful for this brave friend risking to tell me the truth.  I’ve since been putting a plan into action of practicing more active listening skills.  (Speaking of active listening skills, you might consider signing up for the Caring and Listening Skills small group this summer!).  I’ve been practicing both with the staff and with the Lead Team.  During each meeting I hold a little 3×5 card that has one word written on it: paraphrase.  I’m trying to listen better.  After each staff meeting and after each lead team meeting one person in that meeting takes five or ten minutes to review the meeting with me and reflect on how I did paraphrasing and active listening.  It has been a very helpful exercise, and I believe those around me are seeing me take a proactive role in listening.  I haven’t arrived yet, but I’m on the path because a friend took the risk to tell me the truth.

For the majority of you, your friends are not going to lead you to jail, but they will lead you to more of the same.  What’s more of the same?  Lukewarm half-hearted commitment to God.  A self-centered life all about you.  Accumulating things that will never satisfy.  When the highlight of your life is going to a football game or a three-day weekend, you know something’s wrong, but you don’t know what it is because that’s all you see around you.

You may be one friend away from, being a better parent, being more generous, overcoming an addiction, taking better care of your body so that you live ten more years to invest in your grandchildren, investing in the church to change people’s lives, waking up with divine purpose and living into a higher calling, meeting the risen savior, Jesus Christ.

So what do you need to have these kinds of friends?  One simple thing: be that kind of friend.

  1. Make others better
  2. Encourage others spiritually
  3. Tell others the truth

Prayer
Jesus, friend of sinners, our hearts burn to have real true friends.  Give us the intentionality we need to seek out friends who will make us better, friends who will encourage us spiritually, and friends who will tell us the truth.  Give us the courage to be a friend who makes others better, to be a friend who supports those around us spiritually, and to be a friend who tells the truth.  May we be the kind of friend to others that you are to us.  In the power of your Spirit, Amen.

* This sermon is based on a sermon originally preached by Craig Groeschel.

 

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Failing Forward

January 28, 2014 by Leave a Comment

samson

 

 

 

 

Samson – Failing Forward *
Sycamore Creek Church
Tom Arthur
January 26/27, 2013

Peace friends!

Today we wrap up a series on the life of Samson.  Samson was a judge of Israel, a kind of tribal leader.  He was dedicated from before his birth to save God’s people from the Philistines.  Samson is one of the most frustrating characters in the Bible.  He was given so much from God, but messed up again and again and again.  We’ve learned over the last three weeks that Samson:

  1. Was an incredibly strong man with a destructively weak will;
  2. Was emotion driven, not Spirit-led;
  3. Ruined his life one step at a time.

In the end he had his eyes gouged out, was put in shackles, and was relegated to grinding a mill.  The question we want to wrestle with today is this:

What do you do when you realize you’ve blown it?

What do you do when you’ve done something you can’t undo, when you’ve hurt people you’ve loved, or when you’ve lost all your money?

In this series I’ve been speaking especially to the men in our church.  That’s not to say that women don’t blow it.  But there is something a little bigger that happens when a man blows it.  That’s because women receive value in relationships.  As long as the relationship is intact at the end of the day, all is well.  On the other hand, men tend to like being liked, but it’s not everything.  Men tend to receive value in accomplishments.  At times even relationships are considered “accomplishments.”  Men want respect.  Generally speaking, a man’s greatest fear is failure and his greatest pain is regret.

Men are told to measure up, be successful, live up to your own or others expectations.  And we don’t.  We hold regrets.  You have to tell your faithful wife about your online porn addiction or your office affair.  You are in a career that feels beneath you while your friends are doing better.  You regret not marrying someone, and now you’re alone years later.  Your marriage is pathetic, and you know it and are resigned to it and don’t do anything about it.  You’ve failed inwardly by not living up to a promise made to yourself or God: “I’ll never do it again”…until Thursday.  What regrets do you carry?

Here’s a truth to wrap your mind around: A failure is an event, never a person.  Samson failed over and over and over again, and God still accomplished his purposes through him.  Just because you’re down, doesn’t mean your out.  Let’s look and see what happens when Samson is down.

Judges 16:23-26 NRSV
Now the lords of the Philistines gathered to offer a great sacrifice to their god Dagon, and to rejoice; for they said, “Our god has given Samson our enemy into our hand.” When the people saw him, they praised their god; for they said, “Our god has given our enemy into our hand, the ravager of our country, who has killed many of us.” 

And when their hearts were merry, they said, “Call Samson, and let him entertain us.” So they called Samson out of the prison, and he performed for them. They made him stand between the pillars; and Samson said to the attendant who held him by the hand, “Let me feel the pillars on which the house rests, so that I may lean against them.” 

Here’s the context.  The Philistines are gathered in a coliseum-like temple that holds between 3000 and 5000 people.  They’re there to worship their god Dagon, the god of the harvest who has a man head and fish body.  They’re recounting how Samson has caused them all kinds of problems remembering the foxes and jawbone incidents.  And now Samson is told to perform for their entertainment.  It doesn’t get any lower than this!  Samson is surely at the bottom of his life as a failure.

Remorse
There are two responses to failure I want to explore today. The natural response to failure is remorse: “I feel bad about what I did.”  Too often men stop here.  Inward they say, “I’m a failure.”  Outward they say, “I’m a victim.  It’s all someone else’s fault.”  There is a better response to failure than remorse.

Repentance
The better response to failure is repentance.  Repentance is one of those really churchy words, isn’t it?  It conjures images of street corner preachers on soap boxes with bull horns.  “Repent you sinners.  You’re going to burn and fry in hell!”  But that’s not necessarily what a biblical idea of repentance is.

There are two words in the Bible that get translated as repentance.  The first is the Greek word “metnoia.”  Metnoia means to change one’s heart and mind.  The second is the Hebrew word “shuv.”  Shuv means to turn.  So repentance can be understood as changing one’s heart and mind in a way that leads to turning ones life in a different direction.  It’s not just an intellectual or emotional thing.  Although it includes both.  It’s not just an action thing.  But it definitely includes action.  It is an inward change that results in an outward change.  It is being convinced that you are going the wrong way and turning around and going the other way.  It means owning your fault.  “It’s my fault.  I blew it.”  Then turning away from that which you did that was wrong and turning toward that which you know to be right.  You ruin your life one step at a time, but when you repent you turn around and point your life back in the right direction.

Repentance doesn’t always mean that everything gets better quick.  There are some things that are hard to undo.  There are even some things you can’t undo.  When Sarah and I had our first boy, Micah, I took lots of pictures during labor.  When I got home but before I caught up on sleep, I uploaded them to iPhoto on my iMac computer.  Now iPhoto has a feature where you can instantly upload pictures you choose to share on Facebook.  I thought I carefully selected some photos to share on Facebook but what I did instead was shared all the photos on Facebook!  I realized my mistake only when I got a notification from Facebook that one of the teenagers in our church had commented on the album saying, “Wow.  Thanks for sharing such intimate moments with us.”  I did  my best to quickly pull the photos off of Facebook, but to those of you who were subjected to my mistake, I apologize.  Actually, I should apologize to my wife!  Very few pictures were actually of me!

Thankfully I could undo that mistake for the most part.  But there are moments in our digital culture when you can’t undo it, like this commercial:

 

While you can’t “unsend,” you can repent.  You can be both motivated to change and actually change your behavior.  You can remember who you were created to be—you were created to honor and glorify God with your life—and you can choose to honor and glorify God with your life.  You can choose not to let what you did keep you from doing what God wants you to do now.  You cannot change the past, but you can change your future with God’s help.

Samson realizes that he’s blown it pretty hard, and he prays to God:

Then Samson prayed to the Lord, “Sovereign Lord, remember me. Please, God, strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes.”
Judges 16:28 NIV

Samson prays, “God, I only need one more chance.”  Is this prayer of Samson’s about Samson or about God?  It seems to me that it is still about Samson’s revenge.  Sometimes when we’re down and out and feel the remorse of failure, we pray to God out of desperation, but we don’t really want to live a new life.  We want God to make it all right.  We want our lives back.

Here’s the amazing moment of God’s grace.  Even in the mixed motives of Samson’s last prayer and in our own mixed motives, God is gracious and merciful.  Even in our failures, God can still accomplish his purposes.  God’s purpose in Samson’s life was to start to deliver Israel from the Philistines.  The Israelites had begun to so closely assimilate into Philistine culture that they were close to being indistinguishable.  God used Samson’s failures to save God’s people from being absorbed into the broader culture and lost forever.

God strengthened Samson again.  Friends, you have the same Spirit living in you that raised Christ from the dead!  Sure you messed up.  Sure you feel weak.  Sure you feel remorse.  But Jesus was dead.  No pulse.  Down and out.  There’s no coming back from that.  And God raised him from the dead!  So you messed up.  That’s makes your story even better!

Men, it’s time to push some pillars down.  What pillars do you need to push down? How are you going to do it?  You’ve got a pillar of pride in your life: I can handle it.  Push it down.  Say, “I need help. I’m alone. I messed up. I don’t know how to get out.”  Tell someone you need help!  You’ve got a pillar of anger in your life: I’m mad at the world;  I’m mad at myself.  Push it down.  Get a counselor.  Read a book about anger.  Find a mentor who has overcome their anger.  You’ve got a pillar of slacker spirituality in your life: you’re an occasional attender at worship.  Don’t just feel bad about it.  Turn around and get to worship regularly.  You’ve got a pillar of a dead marriage in your life.  So be honest about it and set up a good time to have an honest talk with your wife and recommit to new positive behaviors.  Find a couple you appreciate and have them mentor you.  Go to a marriage retreat.  Pick up a book or audio CD or listen to marriage sermons.  You’ve got a pillar of debt in your life.  Push it down!  Tighten the belt.  Set a budget.   Break greed by giving generously the full tithe or more. What pillar or pillars need to be pushed down in your life?

Now we can’t ignore one crucial fact about the end of Samson’s life.  It was a suicide.  Is that how you push down the pillar?  You just decide that you’re so far gone that this world would be better off without you?  Yes, Samson took his life, and God ended an age of judges ruling Israel.  He was the last.  God then brought in the age of the Kings.  But here’s the hitch.  Suicide is easy.  You give your life one time.  Here’s what’s hard: give your life daily.  They give their lives to God daily.  They give their lives to their wives daily.  They give their lives to their kids daily.  They give their lives to their church daily.  They give their lives to their community daily.  They give their lives to the job daily.  Real men give their lives daily so that God’s purposes might come true in their own lives and the lives of those around them.  Real men push down the pillars that get in the way of God’s purposes daily.  Are you pushing down pillars today?

Here’s the first pillar you need to push down: give up your life.  Give it up to the one who has already given up his life for you.  Give it up to the one who showed his love for us by dying not just for friends but for his enemies.  Give your life up to following Jesus and his way.  How do you do that?   You ask Jesus to be your forgiver and leader.  You give your failures to him and you say, “Jesus, forgive me for the things I have done wrong.”  Then you let him lead you.  You say, “Jesus, I give you my entire life to lead.  Do with me as it pleases you.”  Then you get in the adventure of the rescue mission that Jesus has begun here on this earth, helping others push down the pillars in their lives.  Are you ready?

God may it be true in the lives of the men at Sycamore Creek Church.  May you use the men in our church to push down the pillars daily in their own lives and the lives of others around us.  Push down the pillars that keep us from being fully committed to you.  In the name of Jesus and the power of your Holy Spirit.  Amen!

* This sermon is based on a sermon first preached by Craig Groeschel

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Small Steps Toward Big Destruction

January 20, 2014 by Leave a Comment

samson

 

 

 

 

 

Samson – Small Steps Toward Big Destruction *
Sycamore Creek Church
Tom Arthur
January 19/20, 2014
Judges 16

Peace friends!

Today we continue in a series exploring the life of Samson, one of the strongest men who ever lived on the earth.  We’re applying the lessons to the men around us, but many of the principles are true for women too.  And women can also learn more about the men in their lives so that they know better how to partner with and pray for them.

Samson was chosen by God before he was even born to deliver his people, the Israelites, from their enemies, the Philistines.  He was called a “judge” in his day, and a “judge” was kind of like a tribal leader.  He had so much potential but he wasted it away on lust, entitlement, and pride.  We learned the last two weeks that Samson was:

  1. An incredibly strong man with a dangerously weak will (Satan likes to make strong men weak, but God makes weak men strong).
  2. Emotion driven, not Spirit-led (when a man lets his deepest need drive him to God, God meets his deepest need).

Samson led Israel for 20 years, a very long time.  So how can a man with so much potential, end up so poorly?  Here’s a key thought for the day:

Samson didn’t mess up his life all at once, he did it one step at a time.

Let’s see how Samson’s life plays out one step at a time.  We read:

One day Samson went to Gaza, where he saw a prostitute. He went in to spend the night with her.
Judges 16:1 NIV

Here we go.  One day.  What happened one day?  Here’s what happened.  Samson walked to Gaza.  Gaza is the headquarters of the Philistines and is 25 miles from his hometown.  25 miles.  To walk 25 miles would take 56,250 steps.  That’s 56,250 steps to destruction.  56,250 opportunities to stop.

No guy starts out saying, “In ten years I want to be a sex addict, obsessed in a fantasy world that is destroying my real world.”  It begins one day with a step: seeing an ad on Facebook.  Step.  Clicking the ad through to a youtube video.  Step.  Picking up the SI swimsuit issue.  Step.  Going a little deeper with softcore porn.  Step.  Going further with hardcore porn.  Step.  Consuming porn all…the…time.  STEP!

No guy starts out saying, “I want to go broke and bankrupt and have to beg for bucks.”

It begins one day with a step: a daily $4 coffee on the credit card.  Step.  Buying a new car.  Step.  Buying a boat.  Step.  Taking out a second mortgage.  Step.  Gambling to try to fix it all quick.  Step.  Deciding to start a new business when he can’t even balance his own check book.  Step.  Bankrupt.  STEP!

No guy starts out saying, “I want to destroy my marriage and my family.”  It begins one day with a step: looking up an old girlfriend on Facebook.  Step.  Sending a text.  Step.  Getting together for lunch.  Step.  A hug to say goodbye.  Step.  Jumping in bed.  Step.  Adultery that destroys your marriage.  STEP!

Today we’re going to explore three steps to Samson’s destruction.

Taunting the Enemy
When the Philistines realize that Samson is among them at Gaza they make plans to capture him, but he leaves early in the morning and eludes their trap.  But escaping isn’t enough for Samson.  He has to insult them in the process.  So he rips the doors of the city off their hinges and puts them on a hill for all to see.  This is no small feat.  This isn’t the hollow core door to your bedroom.  The doors to a city were massively reinforced to keep battering rams from breaking in.  These things probably weighed 700 or more pounds!  It’s like Samson is flipping off his enemies.  He’s taunting them and underestimating them.

Friends, too often we taunt and underestimate the enemy.  We read in scripture that the enemy of God is out to steal, kill, and destroy and is roaring around like a lion seeking someone to devour (John 10:10).  And we pretend that it’s like we’re at the zoo with a powerful cage between us and that lion, so we taunt our enemies.

One day I taunted and seriously underestimated my opponent.  I was with my roommate from college, Greg, and my new girlfriend, Sarah, soon to be wife.  For some reason, I don’t exactly remember why, I decided to wrestle my roommate.  I do know why.  I was trying to impress Sarah!  And when you’re trying to impress a girl the blood isn’t always flowing to the right parts of the brain.  The blood was definitely not flowing to the right part of my brain in that moment, because Greg was not someone you wanted to wrestle with.  He was a farm boy from Wisconsin.  He grew up wrestling steer into submission and throwing bails of hay onto trucks.  The man was and still is cut out of stone.  He is the first real person I saw up close and personal who had a real six-pack ab.  Not only this but Greg’s primary sport in high school was wrestling!  So what was I thinking trying to impress my girl by wrestling with my roommate?  He took me down in less than two seconds and held me there long enough to really let the embarrassment set in.  It’s the last time I tried to impress Sarah with my physical prowess, or lack thereof.  Thankfully Greg was not really out to steal, kill and destroy me.  He was my friend after all.  But he wasn’t going to let me score a quick point with my girlfriend at his expense.

Friends, too often we treat our enemy the way I treated Greg.  We put ourselves in tempting situations and underestimate and taunt the enemy.  We struggle with lust and then we go hang out in our girlfriend’s room.  We are married but we go out to a club on a business trip out of town.  (Side note: do you know that research has shown that most affairs are not caused by marital strife or marital dissatisfaction.  Most affairs are caused by opportunity!  It’s the affair that causes the marital strife and dissatisfaction. Read more here: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201206/promise-promiscuity).  We’re taunting the enemy.  We know that our family has a history of alcoholism but we decide one drink won’t hurt.  Then two.  Then three.  Then four.  Then five, and we’re smashed.  We don’t really have the money to buy a new car, but we go walk around the car lot “just window shopping.”  The first car I bought in my marriage was bought when I went to just look on the lot.  I didn’t plan to buy a car that day, but I got hooked.  Paul reminds us:

So if you think you are standing, watch out that you do not fall.
1 Corinthians 10:12 NRSV

Friends, don’t taunt the enemy.  Don’t underestimate the pitfall.  Stay humble.

Rationalizing the Same Old Sin
So far we’ve encountered two Philistine women in Samson’s life.  The first we read about last week was someone he wanted to marry.  It didn’t go well for anyone involved.  The second we just read about was a Philistine prostitute.  Two Philistine women and we haven’t even gotten to the most well known Philistine woman: Delilah.  But she’s about to come on the scene, and this is the third time that Samson is messing around with a Philistine woman.  (Side note: the issue here is not the difference in race.  There is no command in the Bible not to marry interracially.  The problem is that the Philistines worship another God.  The problem is a faith problem, not a race problem.)  So we read:

After this he fell in love with a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah.
Judges 16:4 NRSV

Too many of us say, “This is my one thing…This is no body’s business…I’m not hurting anyone…I’m always just looking…Nobody will find out.”  I have a friend who told me the other day that when he first got married he would go to the gym and take his ring off.  He took his ring off because there was this cute girl who was there at the gym, and he wanted to make sure he still had “it” even though he was now hitched.  So he flirted a little here and there, and it worked.  She asked him out.  Whoa!  She asked out a married guy she didn’t even know was married.  The problem here isn’t her problem.  The problem is with my friend.  He wanted to see if he still had it, and he deceived this young woman in order to meet his own needs of insecurity.  Thankfully he manned up to the situation and told her he was married, but the damage was already done.  He was taunting the enemy.

Back to Samson:

The lords of the Philistines came to [Delilah] and said to her, “Coax him, and find out what makes his strength so great, and how we may overpower him, so that we may bind him in order to subdue him; and we will each give you eleven hundred pieces of silver.”
Judges 16:5 NRSV

So she goes to Samson and asks to know his secret.  He tells her three different lies to the source of his strength: straps, ropes, and a pin in his hair.  Each time she binds him in the way that he says and the Philistines rush in to attack him, and he breaks out of the binding and beats them.  The third time he gets pretty close to telling the truth but not quite.  It’s like he’s walking up to the line but not crossing.

What amazes me is he keeps this game up.  The first time he tells her a secret and she shares it.  He does it again.  She shares the secret.  He does it again.  She shares the secret.  When will he learn?  Too late.

Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me three times now and have not told me what makes your strength so great.”  Finally, after she had nagged him with her words day after day, and pestered him, he was tired to death.
Judges 16:15-16 NRSV 

Samson was strong enough to kill a thousand men, lift a 700 pound door, slay a lion, but wasn’t strong enough to lead a woman.  Men don’t just be strong in business, hobbies, and sports but be strong leading people to God.  Be strong in righteousness, right relationships with God, with others, and with yourself.  Samson doesn’t have it.  He tells her his true secret:

So he told her his whole secret, and said to her, “A razor has never come upon my head; for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If my head were shaved, then my strength would leave me; I would become weak, and be like anyone else.”
Judges 16:17 NRSV

It’s kind of like he’s remembering for a moment who he was created to be: A Nazarite dedicated to God to save his people from their enemies.  He was dedicated from before birth!  Who were you created to be?  What gifts, passion, and callings are on your life to bring glory to God?  You were made to have a purpose, even several purposes.  You were made for more than just lust, entitlement, and pride.  Samson gives away what he was made for for the same old sin.

She let him fall asleep on her lap; and she called a man, and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. He began to weaken, and his strength left him.
Judges 16:19 NRSV

There it is.  The enemy has him.  How many men out of disobedience of God are doing battle with their own strength and missing God’s strength?  Your strength has left you.  Samson’s “one vice”, his “one sin” catches up with him.

The Cost of Disobedience
So far we’ve looked at two steps that let to Samson’s destruction: he taunted and underestimated the enemy and he rationalized the same old sin.  The third step is this: he assumed his disobedience would never cost him.

Then she said, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” When he awoke from his sleep, he thought, “I will go out as at other times, and shake myself free.” But he did not know that the Lord had left him.
Judges 16:20 NRSV

Sometime your sin will catch up to you.  You’ll go to your wife, and she’ll say “That’s enough” and the marriage will be over.  You’ll promise your kids another empty promise (even if you really truly mean it this time), and they’ll say “That’s enough” and will give up on you.  You’ll go to your boss and apologize for not doing the work, and she’ll say, “That’s enough” and your job will be done.  Your sin will find you out.  There will be consequences.

We read about the consequences to Samson’s sin:

So the Philistines seized him and gouged out his eyes. They brought him down to Gaza and bound him with bronze shackles; and he ground at the mill in the prison.
Judges 16:21 NRSV

This didn’t happen all at once out of the blue.  It happened one small step at a time. Where are you stepping away from God?  Be honest.

No time in the Bible.  Step.
No time in prayer.  Step.
A sense of entitlement: I deserve this!  Step.
Giving in to lust: I want it!  Step.
Living in pride: I can handle it!  Step.
Blowing up in anger.  Step.
Apathetic to God.  Step.
Greed for more.  What you have is never enough.  Step.
Financial disobedience.  Not bringing the full tithe to God.  Step.

You are only as strong as you are honest!  How honest are you with God and those around you?  How honest are you with yourself?

So if you are stepping away from God in any way, what should you do?  Turn around!  Go the other way!  It’s not too late! It’s that simple!  Turn around.  When you turn around, who will be right there waiting for you?  God!  In God you will find grace.  Samson’s story isn’t over.  We read:

But the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaved.
Judges 16:22 NRSV

It is a sign of grace.  His hair begins to grow again.  That which gives you strength will grow again!  No matter how many steps down the road you have gone away from God, your life is not a waste.  Turn around and you will find God right there waiting for you and God’s grace will begin to grow your hair again.

God, may the men who hear this message not taunt and underestimate the enemy.  May the men who hear this message not become complacent in the same old sin.  May the men who hear this message not assume that their sin will have no consequence.  May the men who hear this message turn around and find you, and may your grace begin to grow their strength again.  In the name of Jesus and in the power of your Spirit at work in us.  Amen.

 

* This sermon and the series are based on a sermon series originally preached by Craig Groeschel.

 

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