Mothers Give More than Money

Not So Random Acts of Giving – Mothers Give More than Money
Sycamore Creek Church
May 13, 2012 (Mother’s Day)
Tom Arthur

Peace Friends!

I’m a new parent.  I have a seventeen month old.  Like every good parent, we occasionally dress him up in our alma mater, Wheaton, which has me thinking.  How am I going to pay for college?  How am I going to prepare for his future financially?  Micah’s godparents gave us a jumpstart on this by contributing to a college savings account.  So on his first birthday and first Christmas, we asked family to give to this college savings account rather than give him lots of gifts. 

But along the way, I’ve also been thinking a lot about how to intentionally teach Micah about God’s plan for money.  He’s got a lot to learn to not end up in the same boat as a lot of college students.  According to creditcards.com, the average household carries almost $16,000 in credit card debt.  In 2008 half of undergraduates had at least four credit cards, up from 43 percent in 2004 and 32 percent in 2000.  (Source: Sallie Mae, “How Undergraduate Students Use Credit Cards,” April 2009).  The average college student graduates with almost $20,000 in debt, and average credit card debt has increased 47 percent between 1989 and 2004 for 25- to 34-year-olds and 11 percent for 18- to 24-year-olds. Nearly one in five 18- to 24-year-olds is in “debt hardship,” up from 12 percent in 1989. (Source: Demos.org, “The Economic State of Young America,” May 2008).  According to USA Today, the average undergraduate carried $3,173 in credit card debt.  Yikes!  How can we all help teach our children to live differently?  We talk a lot about how to live differently when it comes to money, but rarely do we talk about how to intentionally teach our children how to live differently.  Thankfully the Bible has some principles that can guide us.

An old Methodist way of summarizing what the Bible teaches about money is to say make all you can, save all you can, and give all you can.  What I’d like to do today is walk through each of these and ask how we can intentionally teach our children how to live the way the Bible teaches.

Make All You Can

Lazy people are soon poor; hard workers get rich. 

A wise youth harvests in the summer, but one who sleeps during harvest is a disgrace.
Proverbs 10:4-5 NLT

For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil
1 Timothy 6:10 NLT

The Bible is clear that providing a living for yourself, your family, and your community is an important part of being human.  We aren’t made to lounge around in leisure all day long.  The question is, how do you teach your children to “make all they can” while at the same time not to fall into the love of money?

Over the past week I interviewed several different moms to see how they intentionally taught their children how to live into God’s plan for their money. Here are some of the ideas I heard along with a couple from Larry Burkett’s book, Financial Parenting.

Kris Richards’ family gives their children—Noah, Elise, and Lindsay—a commission on doing housework.  While there are some things everyone is required to do and not get paid for (like clearing the dishes from the table), they have a list of things that need to be done (trash, kitty litter, etc.) and they are required to do it to get paid.  If they don’t do it, they don’t get paid, but they are still required to do it!  Kris also provides several other opportunities around the house to do various projects to get paid. 

Marilyn Mannino got her daughter, Miranda, involved in 4H at a very young age.  Miranda was seeing other friends raise animals, take them to auction, and get paid at the end of it.  Miranda began with chickens and then progressed on to hogs.  She was required to pay all the expenses to feed and house the hogs. 

Sarah Arthur, my wife, grew up with parents who were in no hurry to have her find a job.  They encouraged her to be creative and enjoy time with family and friends, especially spending time outside.  They grew up without a TV so they weren’t wasting their time inside, but they also weren’t driven to get a job just so they could buy more stuff.  Eventually Sarah did get a job, but it wasn’t until her later teens. 

Larry Burkett recommends thinking of the family as a community.  There are certain benefits that one receives by being a part of a community, and there are certain responsibilities.  He suggests not tying too closely together those benefits (allowance) and responsibilities (chores).  Both are expected.  At the same time, he suggests hanging up a list of extra projects that can be done to earn money (e.g., mow the yard – $20).  These extra projects allow kids a chance to be assertive in making some extra money on top of their allowance. 

Save All You Can 

Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds, for riches don’t last forever, and the crown might not be secure for the next generation.
Proverbs 27:23-24 NLT

Unless you’re part of 4H or live on the farm, you probably don’t have to teach your kids about flocks and herds, but you do have to teach them about how income and expenses come and go.   Here we’re talking about teaching your children how to live simply, save, and budget. 

Kris Richards has a three-envelope budgeting system with her children: giving, savings, and spending.  When they are given their “commission” each week, they put part of it in each of these three envelopes.  The kids have over time saved up hundreds of dollars.  When I asked her what they were saving it for, she didn’t have a specific thing, but imagined that it would probably be used for a car some day in the not so distant future (Noah and Elise are both thirteen).  Kris also mentioned that her kids can sometimes get focused on stuff.  They notice fancy new cars in their neighbors’ driveways and in-ground pools in their backyards.  Kris and her husband, Brian, often remind them that these things are probably bought on a lease or debt.  

Marilyn Mannino has had a hard time with this over the years because her husband doesn’t like to budget.  While they live simply and have paid off all their debts, and save to buy for cars, they have always made a comfortable living and haven’t needed the discipline of a budget.  At the same time, she has found it important to try to teach her children about budgeting.  Her son, Joe, wanted to go to prom this year.  So they put an envelope in his drawer and began contributing to it weekly.  They had to plan ahead because the tickets were so much and only sold at certain dates. 

Sarah Arthur’s parents gave Sarah and her sister comparative huge allowances each month because they gave them money for all their monthly expenses: lunch money, clothing, school supplies, entertainment, etc.  They were required to budget this money and make it last.  If they ran out, that was too bad.  They’d have to find a way to make it to next month’s allowance and plan better.  Also, when Sarah did begin working, her parents required her to pay a certain percentage (about 15%) for “room and board.”  She was expected to contribute to the household.  What she didn’t know was that her parents were setting that aside and when she got married, they gave it to her as a gift. 

Larry Burkett suggests beginning with a basic budget like Kris Richards’ family: give, save, spend.  As the children grow older, this budget should get more complex and become more and more like real life.  Burkett even suggests as they become teenagers to institute a household “tax” of 5%.  This money then goes in a community fund that the family decides together how to spend.  This helps them realize and learn about taxes and making financial decisions with a community of people.  Perhaps, one of Burkett’s more startling ideas is that as teenagers get older, they should be given a supervised opportunity to run the family finances for six months.  He likens it to teaching kids how to drive. 

Give All You Can

 Remember this — a farmer who plants only a few seeds will get a small crop. But the one who plants generously will get a generous crop. You must each make up your own mind as to how much you should give. Don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. For God loves the person who gives cheerfully. And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.
2 Corinthians 9:6-8 NLT 

If you sow generously by giving generously, then you’ll reap generously.  But if you’re a scrooge with your money, then you won’t receive many blessing back either.  I don’t think the Bible is always talking about financial blessings here.  Giving generously and cheerfully nurtures a kind of joy and freedom that is priceless.  So how do families intentionally teach their children how to be generous?  Back to our moms. 

Marilyn shared about how she tries to model it.  This is a little tricky at times because she and her husband aren’t always in agreement on this, so she tithes from her own income.  In this way she models it for her kids. 

Kris makes this part of each child’s budget.  She says it’s not hard for them to give joyfully because they began young.  It was all given to them freely in the first place, so why get upset when they’ve always been required to put aside 10%?  Because an offering isn’t taken in the youth gathering (something we’ll explore changing!), Noah and Elise both give their portion to their younger sister, Lindsay, to give in Kids Creek.  

Sarah described how her parents never complained about what they weren’t being able to buy because of their tithing.  She remembers driving with someone one time and hearing this person wistfully comment about a big house they were driving by, “If I hadn’t tithed my whole life, maybe I could have afforded a house like that.”  This way of thinking was foreign to her.  Sarah has also watched her parents be generous with us.  Two times they have given us interest free loans: when we bought a house to make some upgrades, and when we had our son to buy a new car.  In both ways they were able to give generously not just to church but to their family because they were living simply.  I recently wrote them a note thanking them for their generosity and telling them that when I grow up I want to be generous just like them. 

Larry Burkett points out that sometimes children who are natural savers need to be encouraged to spend their money.  Hoarding isn’t a biblical idea.  The Bible teaches that money is for living and giving.  One wonderful reminder that Burkett gives parents is that savings can also be used by children to give generously to the needs of others.  Giving is one way of “spending” savings. 

Changed Lives

What would our church look like if all our parents were teaching their kids about God’s plan for money?  If parents intentionally taught their children God’s plan for money, I think that we would be a seriously counter cultural community that would have several distinctive features: 

First, we’d be a community full of families living in peace.  Imagine not having arguments about money.  Imagine not being torn about whether to pay this bill or that bill.  Marilyn described the conflict in her family growing up because of money issues.  It was what motivated her to live differently so that her children didn’t have to live with the same kind of stress. 

Second, we’d be an attractive community.  If all our families were living full of peace about finances, how long would it take before our friends, extended families, and neighbors began to notice and be curious about what was making this peace possible?  Not long.  Sharing our faith is most effective when it comes from a place of transformation. 

Third, we’d have more integrity in our own financial dealings.  It’s said that teaching is learning twice.  If all our families began intentionally teaching children how to handle money, they just might begin living into those principles more fully themselves.  Kris said that this already happens for her.  Her children are reminders of what they have taught them about living differently. 

Fourth, we as a community could be more generous with our church, community, and world.  We could reach out and touch more lives.  We could meet more needs.  A generous church is generous because it is made up of generous families. 

So what’s your plan?  How will you intentionally teach your children about God’s plan for money?  Don’t have a plan? Then set aside some time this week to make a plan.  Or check out the resources listed below.  Let me pray for you in that effort. 

Creator God, all that we have is yours to begin with.  Help us to be good stewards of those gifts, and help us to be good stewards of the children that you have given us.  Help us to intentionally teach them your plan for money.  May it be so in our lives in the name of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen. 

Further Resources

www.daveramsey.com (Brian and Kris Richards – 393-6107)
Financial Parenting by Larry Burkett and Rick Osborn
Share, Save, Spend Money Discussion Cards by Vibrant Faith Ministries

Small Group Discussion Questions

Each week we provide discussion questions for small groups that meet regularly to discuss the message for the week.  Want to find a small group to join?  Email Mark Aupperlee – m_aupperlee@hotmail.com

 How are you intentionally teaching your children or how did your parents intentionally teach you to…

1. Make money in honest ways?
2. Budget, save, and live simply?
3. Give generously and cheerfully?
4. What helpful resources are you familiar with for family finances?