Unpleasantville – Parents and Children
Sycamore Creek Church
Genesis 22:1-13
Tom Arthur
February 7, 2010
Download this sermon at
www.sycamorecreekchurch.org/messages
Note to reader: This is a manuscript and not a transcript. While I prepare a manuscript, I don’t preach from it. All the major points are here, but there are bound to be some small differences from the sermon as it was preached live. Also, expect some “bonus” material that wasn’t in the live sermon.
Peace, Friends.
Today I’m preaching on my favorite topic in this Unpleasantville series: parenting. It’s my favorite topic because nothing I say today has ever been proved wrong! OK, so I don’t have any children, but not being married has never stopped a priest from doing pre-marital counseling. So with that little disclaimer, let’s dive in and see what we can learn about parenting from the story of Abraham and Isaac.
Genesis 22:1-13 (NLT)
1 Later on God tested Abraham’s faith and obedience. “Abraham!” God called.
“Yes,” he replied. “Here I am.”
2 “Take your son, your only son — yes, Isaac, whom you love so much — and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will point out to you.”
3 The next morning Abraham got up early. He saddled his donkey and took two of his servants with him, along with his son Isaac. Then he chopped wood to build a fire for a burnt offering and set out for the place where God had told him to go. 4 On the third day of the journey, Abraham saw the place in the distance. 5 “Stay here with the donkey,” Abraham told the young men. “The boy and I will travel a little farther. We will worship there, and then we will come right back.”
6 Abraham placed the wood for the burnt offering on Isaac’s shoulders, while he himself carried the knife and the fire. As the two of them went on together, 7 Isaac said, “Father?”
“Yes, my son,” Abraham replied.
“We have the wood and the fire,” said the boy, “but where is the lamb for the sacrifice?”
8 “God will provide a lamb, my son,” Abraham answered. And they both went on together.
9 When they arrived at the place where God had told Abraham to go, he built an altar and placed the wood on it. Then he tied Isaac up and laid him on the altar over the wood. 10 And Abraham took the knife and lifted it up to kill his son as a sacrifice to the LORD. 11 At that moment the angel of the LORD shouted to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”
“Yes,” he answered. “I’m listening.”
12 “Lay down the knife,” the angel said. “Do not hurt the boy in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld even your beloved son from me.”
13 Then Abraham looked up and saw a ram caught by its horns in a bush. So he took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering on the altar in place of his son.
This is God’s story for us today. Thank you, God!
Before getting to the message, I’ve got one caveat: if you think God is telling you to sacrifice your children, DON’T DO IT! You may have days where you feel like killing your child. Do not attempt to kill your child. This is not the point of this story. So what is the point?
This is a rich and complex story with more layers of meaning and more questions which it raises than any one sermon could ever hope to engage. Today I’d like to reflect on one theme in this story: giving your children up to God. In verse twelve we read: “‘Lay down the knife,’ the angel said. ‘Do not hurt the boy in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld even your beloved son from me.’” Abraham is shown to be in right relationship with God because he did not withhold his beloved son from God. How do we withhold our children from God? I’d like to offer some suggestions this morning about how to give your children to God.
It seems these days that we have a hard time giving up our children to just about anything. A recent cover story in Time magazine (November, 2009) highlights a phenomenon called “helicopter parenting.” Have you heard of this phenomenon? It’s where parents so overprotect their children that they literally hover over almost everything they do. They wrap them in a protective layer of bubble wrap so that they never get hurt. This parenting style is all about the parent and the parent’s control. Children raised in this overprotective setting grow up not knowing how to live life because their parents were living it for them, not willing to let go. Abraham’s example is on the other end of the spectrum, isn’t it?
So how then, do we give our children up to God? I’d like to suggest that we give our children up to God early, plainly, frequently, patiently, and fully (I’m indebted to John Wesley’s sermon, On Family Religion for this framework).
Early
How early do we begin giving up our children to God? The answer is: from the moment they are born. We tend to think that Christianity is all about knowing the right stuff, and since small children, let alone infants, can’t know or understand fully what all this stuff is that we believe and do as Christians, then there’s no point in them joining in. This is a misconception about God. If one is required to know and understand fully all the mysteries of God to participate in our practices of the faith, then no one should participate. Let’s look at some specific examples: baptism, communion, and prayer.
First, it is appropriate to have your infant baptized. There are two parts to God’s salvation, our part and God’s part. The most important side of that equation is God’s part. Our part is simply a response to God’s grace already at work in us. When we baptize infants, we emphasize the God-part of that equation. It is abundantly clear that this infant has done absolutely nothing to earn God’s grace. God’s grace to this infant is completely and totally free. It is even gratuitous. When we baptize older persons (older children, teenagers, or adults) we emphasize our part in the equation. In either instance of baptism, we don’t ignore the other part. Salvation includes both our part and God’s part. Of the two, God’s part is more important. It is ultimately up to a parent to decide to baptize an infant, but there is no reason not to begin giving up your child to God early.
Second, it is appropriate for children to participate in communion. Once again, Jesus’ presence at the communion table is not something that is dependent upon us fully knowing or understanding what is going on. If it was required to fully know and understand, then none of us could approach the table. Certainly knowing and understanding parts of God’s grace mystery at the communion table help those who are able to know and understand, but it is not a requirement. Children can fully enter into God’s presence at the communion table, and in some ways may be better able to do so than adults! Again, it is ultimately up to a parent to decide whether their child can come to the communion table, but there is no reason not to continue giving up your child to God early.
Third, it is appropriate to pray with and for your child before they can even speak. When I lived with other families at the Isaiah House during my time at seminary, there were several children in the house. One of the children in the house was named Luke. We prayed every day at the dinner table. One of his first words was “amen” at the end of these table prayers. It was a predictable moment for him every day. Sure, it was more like “a-yah”, but he said it at the right time every night as we sat around the dinner table.
Luke took this even further one night. We would sit down to the table and whoever prepared the meal would ask, “Who will pray for us tonight?” We would often sit quietly for a brief moment waiting for someone to offer to pray. One night after I asked, “Who will pray for us tonight?”, Luke raised up his voice and said, “I ill.” We understood that he was offering to pray. He did not yet have the language skills to put together full sentences, but we all went with the Spirit and bowed our heads. Luke prayed a prayer that night in a language we did not understand, but we knew when he had finished because we heard him say, “A-yah.” Parents, are you giving your children up to God early?
Plainly
Spending time around children while living in the Isaiah House showed me just how many teachable moments there are in the day of a child. I’d like to say that I was particularly good at noticing these, but I was not always. Sarah was much better than I was. I was amazed at times at how she could turn a conversation with a child toward a teachable moment and speak plainly to the child in a language they could understand about who God is and what God desires of us. Parents, if one of you is better at this than the other, watch and learn from your spouse.
We had a young three-year-old boy in our home when we first moved in. I’ll call him “Cory.” Cory’s dad was not in his life, but his mom was pretty incredible. Sarah and I have more Cory stories than we have time to tell. One day I was sitting on the couch in the living room and Cory was climbing all over me like I was a jungle gym. He loved having my attention and I loved the physicality of the play (Fathers, isn’t it odd that the only time it’s socially acceptable to touch our boys is when we’re wrestling with them?). Cory was climbing up the front of my body like I was a climbing wall and found a good hand hold on the collar of my shirt. As he pulled his body up, my shirt stretched out enough for him to shove his face down my shirt. He popped his head back out and looked me in the face eye-to-eye bewildered. He shouted out, “Where are your titties?!” (I’m using his language here and not intending to offend anyone.)
Now this was an incredible moment to speak plainly to Cory and teach him something about the mysteries of God creating humans male and female and how both were made in God’s image and were equal even though they were different. (Parents, it’s never too early to begin talking about sex with your children. You don’t have to explain all the details, but you can avoid “The talk” to your teenager if you have been talking plainly and simply about sex their entire lives.) So what did I, this seminary student training to be a pastor, do? I said what every guy says in this moment, “Ummmm….You’d better go talk to your mom about that.” If I had been graded on that interaction, my professor would have to give me a big fat F for failing to speak plainly to Cory in a language he could understand about God and God’s creation. Parents, speak plainly to your children.
Frequently
How often should a parent give up their child to God? Maybe another question that can shed light on this question would be: How often do you care for the physical needs of your child? The answer to that question is that you feed them at least three times a day. Can you not feed your child spiritually three times a day as well? This could be a simple as a family prayer at each meal of the day. But it could be more too.
Sarah’s parents found that as she and her sister got older it was harder and harder to have everyone around the dinner table. Her parents decided that they were going to adapt to this new situation by making breakfast their family meal. Everyone was expected to be at the breakfast table at a certain time in the morning. This is an amazingly simple and obvious spark of creativity just toward having a family meal together, but her parents took it further. They also took time at each breakfast to read the Bible together, to read a brief devotional, and to pray together as a family. Wow!
Breakfast may not be the right time in your family, but consider a way to give your children up to God by feeding them spiritually three times a day or more.
Patiently
As children grow up it may seem that your attempts to give your child up to God are being as successful as hitting your head against a brick wall. Persevere. I was at a conference one time when the speaker, Roland Martinson, told about his own experience with his daughter. He said that she went in to a cave sometime around the age of thirteen and really quit talking to him in any meaningful way. He decided that even though she would not talk to him, that didn’t mean that he couldn’t talk to her. So every night as she went to bed, he would sit by her bed and tell her how his day went. He often wondered whether she was even listening.
Roland’s daughter didn’t come out of her cave until she graduated from college. One day after she had graduated she made the off-hand comment to him that she remembered all the great conversations they had before she went to bed each night. Roland was stunned. To him, these had not been conversations but had been monologues. He was patient and he persevered. Parents, give your children up to God patiently.
Fully
There is one last way of giving your child up to God with which I want to conclude. When all is said and done and you have given your children up to God early, plainly, frequently, and patiently, you must now take the last step and fully let go of your child and allow them to respond to God’s grace or to turn from God’s grace. It is not your responsibility or privilege to make them have faith. That job is already taken. It is God and God only who gives the gift of faith. You may have been a perfect parent, and your child may still turn from God. This is not necessarily your fault. God gives each of us the great freedom to respond to or reject God’s love and grace. Giving your child up to God early, plainly, frequently, and patiently is not a magic formula for faith. It is rather a formula for your own faithfulness as a parent. The rest, and most important part, is in God’s hands.
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